The Jazzcat

I write furiously and send to you my long Sunday morning epiphany.

Huey P. Newton Insights My

Today

  I cannot quickly

enough get to my computer and turn it on to speak to

you

    To let out the

feelings that are boiling inside me,

    Steam from my

ears

    A percolation

that is surely going to make me scream

            Or

    Cry for the rest

of humanities life.  Its entire

existence.

    Yes, Me dead and

not in a coffin,

    But, burned up,

ashes wet, those who love me wondering, “…what is this

dampness”?

    It is only my

tears crying for my people,

    My

America ,

    My Black people,

my White people, my Red, Yellow, Brown

people,

    My people of this

land who are destined to go through hardship because what we are    allowing, what we are experiencing is surely

to burn us up before we die,

while we

live.

    Before we figure out that all of us being

given the opportunity to live well and be loved is how we all

survive…

    I turn on the

television on a beautiful Sunday morning, this Sunday morning, the 10th of

October

    And, I look for

the news stations to hear what those in the “know” are saying about the

debate

    And, I am bored. 

    I am frustrated

and bored with their “spin”

(Thoughts In This Moment:  I bang so hard on my lap top that

things begin to fall off my

Is it my banging, or is that the

Universe crying, bleeding, in touch

with the sentiments, the rhythm of

my frustration being hit on these

keyboard keys, my Sunday morning

song with discord notes, strewn

with flats and sharps, that is

that

it hears me and it shares my

pain…?)

I don’t want to hear

the excuses of how right we still were to allow over 1,000 of our men and Women

to be killed for a cause that was not just.

I can justify all I

want to as to why I got into that car

accident

that totaled three cars and sent

            Only me

to the emergency

room, but truth be told

            Driving too fast and upset about

things that life can throw your way

will cause you   to have an accident.  

So, I am still

liable.  I am still

wrong.

So, when you tell me

that you have sent thousands in to fight

for what you say is

right and for

            Reasons you say are just and when

your reasons are proven to be wrong you

            “SPIN” your way back to being

right….

I have a fucking

frustrated problem.

Now, my frustration

and banging this morning is fueled because

Once again, bored, and angered with “spin”,

I turn to the cable

listing to remove my mind from madness spoken

by

intelligent people

hell-bent on involving me in their

self-imposed

hypnotic spin-filled

lies,

“They” believing that

the pink elephant in the room is now only an

ornament,

Or, art, meant to be

lived around, not really noticed,

“It blends in with

the room.”

I see “Huey P.

Newton” by Roger G. Smith is showing

Immediately I click

over to see this brilliant piece and

performer

I saw him performing

this twice, live and was moved, but today, in this

climate

            After hearing “spin” after “spin”

after fucking “spin”

            At the end of this 1 ?  hour long

truth session,

I am banging on my

computer because I want to shout out loud WAKE

UP!!!!!

WAKE

UP

WAKE THE FUCK

UP!…

(Thoughts In This Moment: tears form in my

eyes and

I breathe to keep them there so

they do not fall and cloud

my vision, or short circuit the

computer as I speak to you,

as I bang to you, as I call to you

to…)

WAKE

UP!

Is it conservatism or

fascism?

What are we being

pressed with?

Huey P. Newton… Black

Panther… Revolutionary…brilliant Black man

Who was, as many

others of every color, nationality and faith, forced into

madness.

Killed violently,

but…

            He died long before, living with a

broken heart.

A broken heart of

watching his people

His Black people

starve, not only in body, but in Spirit.

And, not just Black

people, but others of every color, nationality and

faith.

Now understand, it is

Huey P. Newton I am speaking of,

But this is in

relation to all peoples.

My

peoples.

My American

peoples.  My

family.

I don’t care what

color, faith, creed you are… you are my

Americans

And, I am in fear for

us.

Not from those across

the water, but from those within my land

Who insight those

across the water to manifest their fears in

violence.

Not my

fears,

Their fears of

destruction and annihilation.

My America and my American family I fear for

us.

As I watched Roger,

no Huey, no Roger, NO Huey

Share his life, I

know that I am not watching or listening to

“spin”

I am listening to the

heart of a man who tried to be heard,

Who did things in

this life to make life better for others and because of

fear

From those in power,

was brought down.

“They” don’t have to

kill you,

“They” can just

negatively publicize you to death or

“Late Breaking News”

you to death.

“They” make the

boogie man look like a welcome visitor within a shrink appointment so you can

figure out why you do what you do to yourself.  

The monster boogie man no longer exists to frighten

children.

Shit.

Just turn on the news

and listen to the “spin” of what you really heard was

said

            Now being told to you that you

didn’t hear it… well, not heard that way.

            Makes you think all of us should get

our ears checked.

                                (Being deaf is

looking better and better all the time.)

            That will frighten

you.

(Thoughts In This Moment:  the tears have dropped and

actually

and

saddened.)

Let us stop creating

Huey P. Newtons.

Let us feed

everyone,

Yes, with food, but

also with knowledge, love, spiritual

connections…

What is this

killing?

Why?

What is this lack of

money in education and then you want to test children to see if they know

anything?

What is with this

lack of creativity and athletics within the school

system?

What about our

future?

Our

history?

What about

imagination and creativity?

Will we have any of

that?

Would Einstein be

Einstein if our school system was fraught with what it has to deal with

today?

We are so concerned

with only today,

but tomorrow is going

to come

whether we are here

or not.

This is not what is

meant by “live in the Now.”

We must plan, allow,

give, share,

Not “spin” and “spin”

and “spin” again.

In my lifetime, the

fastest I ever saw our government work on

anything

Was when they

impeached President Clinton for getting his you-know-what sucked

by

            A willing participant.   Of age.

They have never moved

that fast for education,

            For health

care,

            For

homelessness,

For…

For…

For…

Anything fucking

thing.

And, yes, I am

cursing and no I am not sorry because I am pissed, I am scared for you and for

me…

“I am angry as Hell

and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

Huey P. Newton is an

icon of what we have allowed this society to do “ for

us”

To again “protect us.

(?)”

And, in reality, they

are only protecting us

            From our own fears,

which

When manifest fuck us

up every time.

What is that quote

and belief?

“What you fear you

bring to you.”

Well, it’s almost

like, “They” are saying

            “Bring it on.  I love my

fear.”

(Thoughts In This Moment:  I am now, again, pissed… No. 

That is an insult to my passionate

anger.)

Let me ask

you…

If you are in a

constant fight with someone and it continues to go

badly,

In other words, there

is no resolve,

What would any good

therapist say?

            “How did you cause this?  What are you doing to attract this

the negativity behind you.”

I’ve been to

therapists.  That’s what they

say.

What is the

difference here?

Someone has to put

the gun down first.

Someone has to cross

the line with an extended hand and say, “I understand or help me understand or

just hey, let’s stop fighting and talk.”

I am no safer now

then I was before.

And, I know that my

safety will become even more tenuous.

I don’t know what I’d

do if you came into my neighborhood and bombed a house next to me because you

suspected bad people were living in it.  

Because bombing a house in a neighborhood means that that house was near

other houses and old people and children and women who are just trying to live

their lives live next to houses, in neighborhoods “suspectedly” filled with bad

people. 

I have yet to hear of

a bomb that blows up only what it hits…

WAKE

UP

(Thoughts In This Moment:  My head falls back and I

breathe…

For the first time in five

….)

Thank you Roger G.

Smith for that brilliant performance

Thank you Huey P.

Newton for your hard work and your madness

Thank you to all

those who have put their lives on the line for the betterment of

mankind…

            Especially my American

people.

I pray for us.  I meditate for us.   I write for us.  I cry for us.  And, I bask in the joy of

the

            Strength and resilience and

fabulousness of our nation and,

            I beg you

to…,

Confront your anger

and your fear

And become honest

about where it comes from.

As in any loving,

intimate relationship… we may not always agree, but we can live in peace and

love in our

Disagreement.

Let us stop the talk

of killing and destroying.

And, let us find

another way to live on this planet together.

I don’t want everyone

to be like me.

It would make taking

a vacation to foreign countries a drag.

In that way, I should

have just taken a walk down the street.

Our differences are

our strengths.

Our

blessings.

Our

brilliance.

Our spirits lifted

and expanded from the differences we ingest,

            Marvel

at,

            Are informed by,… which enlighten

our present state of being.

I am you and you are

me

I am my brother and

sister’s keeper.

But, if we must, I

will go through the darkness with you

And, now so inspired

and infused, will use these keys to share my own enlightened

reality,

And, jump into the

ocean of darkness to manifest some light.