Huey P. Newton Insights My Today

  I cannot quickly enough get to my computer and turn it on to speak to you

    To let out the feelings that are boiling inside me,

    Steam from my ears

    A percolation that is surely going to make me scream

            Or

    Cry for the rest of humanities life.  Its entire existence.

    Yes, Me dead and not in a coffin,

    But, burned up, ashes wet, those who love me wondering, “…what is this dampness”?

    It is only my tears crying for my people,

    My America ,

    My Black people, my White people, my Red, Yellow, Brown people,

    My people of this land who are destined to go through hardship because what we are    allowing, what we are experiencing is surely to burn us up before we die,

while we live.

    Before we figure out that all of us being given the opportunity to live well and be loved is how we all survive...

    I turn on the television on a beautiful Sunday morning, this Sunday morning, the 10th of October

    And, I look for the news stations to hear what those in the "know" are saying about the debate

    And, I am bored. 

    I am frustrated and bored with their "spin"

                        (Thoughts In This Moment:  I bang so hard on my lap top that

things begin to fall off my desk.  Securely set on the desk they fall. 

Is it my banging, or is that the Universe crying, bleeding, in touch

with the sentiments, the rhythm of my frustration being hit on these

keyboard keys, my Sunday morning song with discord notes, strewn

with flats and sharps, that is responding in its silent yet loud way that

it hears me and it shares my pain…?)

I don’t want to hear the excuses of how right we still were to allow over 1,000 of our men and Women to be killed for a cause that was not just.

I can justify all I want to as to why I got into that car accident

            that totaled three cars and sent

            Only me

to the emergency room, but truth be told

            Driving too fast and upset about things that life can throw your way

will cause you   to have an accident.  

So, I am still liable.  I am still wrong.

So, when you tell me that you have sent thousands in to fight

for what you say is right and for

            Reasons you say are just and when your reasons are proven to be wrong you

            “SPIN” your way back to being right….

I have a fucking frustrated problem.

Now, my frustration and banging this morning is fueled because

Once again, bored, and angered with “spin”,

I turn to the cable listing to remove my mind from madness spoken by

intelligent people hell-bent on involving me in their self-imposed

hypnotic spin-filled lies,

“They” believing that the pink elephant in the room is now only an ornament,

Or, art, meant to be lived around, not really noticed,

“It blends in with the room.”

I see “Huey P. Newton” by Roger G. Smith is showing

Immediately I click over to see this brilliant piece and performer

I saw him performing this twice, live and was moved, but today, in this climate

            After hearing “spin” after “spin” after fucking “spin”

            At the end of this 1 ?  hour long truth session,

I am banging on my computer because I want to shout out loud WAKE UP!!!!!

WAKE UP

WAKE THE FUCK UP!...

                        (Thoughts In This Moment: tears form in my eyes and

I breathe to keep them there so they do not fall and cloud

my vision, or short circuit the computer as I speak to you,

as I bang to you, as I call to you to…)

WAKE UP!

Is it conservatism or fascism?

What are we being pressed with?

Huey P. Newton… Black Panther… Revolutionary…brilliant Black man

Who was, as many others of every color, nationality and faith, forced into madness.

Killed violently, but…

            He died long before, living with a broken heart.

A broken heart of watching his people

His Black people starve, not only in body, but in Spirit.

And, not just Black people, but others of every color, nationality and faith.

Now understand, it is Huey P. Newton I am speaking of,

But this is in relation to all peoples.

My peoples.

My American peoples.  My family.

I don’t care what color, faith, creed you are… you are my Americans

And, I am in fear for us.

Not from those across the water, but from those within my land

Who insight those across the water to manifest their fears in violence.

Not my fears,

Their fears of destruction and annihilation.

My America and my American family I fear for us.

As I watched Roger, no Huey, no Roger, NO Huey

Share his life, I know that I am not watching or listening to “spin”

I am listening to the heart of a man who tried to be heard,

Who did things in this life to make life better for others and because of fear

From those in power, was brought down.

“They” don’t have to kill you,

“They” can just negatively publicize you to death or

“Late Breaking News” you to death.

“They” make the boogie man look like a welcome visitor within a shrink appointment so you can figure out why you do what you do to yourself.   The monster boogie man no longer exists to frighten children.

Shit.

Just turn on the news and listen to the “spin” of what you really heard was said

            Now being told to you that you didn’t hear it… well, not heard that way.

            Makes you think all of us should get our ears checked.

                                (Being deaf is looking better and better all the time.)

            That will frighten you.

                        (Thoughts In This Moment:  the tears have dropped and actually

            cleared my sight, but now, I am low in shoulders, slumped and

            saddened.)

Let us stop creating Huey P. Newtons.

Let us feed everyone,

Yes, with food, but also with knowledge, love, spiritual connections…

What is this killing?

Why?

What is this lack of money in education and then you want to test children to see if they know anything?

What is with this lack of creativity and athletics within the school system?

What about our future?

Our history?

What about imagination and creativity?

Will we have any of that?

Would Einstein be Einstein if our school system was fraught with what it has to deal with today?

We are so concerned with only today,

but tomorrow is going to come

whether we are here or not.

This is not what is meant by “live in the Now.”

We must plan, allow, give, share,

Not “spin” and “spin” and “spin” again.

In my lifetime, the fastest I ever saw our government work on anything

Was when they impeached President Clinton for getting his you-know-what sucked by

            A willing participant.   Of age.

They have never moved that fast for education,

            For health care,

            For homelessness,

            For…

            For…

            For…

Anything fucking thing.

And, yes, I am cursing and no I am not sorry because I am pissed, I am scared for you and for me…

“I am angry as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

Huey P. Newton is an icon of what we have allowed this society to do “ for us”

To again “protect us. (?)”

And, in reality, they are only protecting us

            From our own fears, which

When manifest fuck us up every time.

What is that quote and belief?

“What you fear you bring to you.”

Well, it’s almost like, “They" are saying

            “Bring it on.  I love my fear.”

(Thoughts In This Moment:  I am now, again, pissed… No. 

That is an insult to my passionate anger.)

Let me ask you…

If you are in a constant fight with someone and it continues to go badly,

In other words, there is no resolve,

What would any good therapist say?

            “How did you cause this?  What are you doing to attract this behavior?  Stop what you are doing and deal with your own anger and fear and approach the situation in a more rational way… in a way that will solve the problem and end the conflict.   If you cannot end the conflict, step away and continue on with your life.  Leaving the negativity behind you.”

I’ve been to therapists.  That’s what they say.

What is the difference here?

Someone has to put the gun down first.

Someone has to cross the line with an extended hand and say, “I understand or help me understand or just hey, let’s stop fighting and talk.”

I am no safer now then I was before.

And, I know that my safety will become even more tenuous.

I don’t know what I’d do if you came into my neighborhood and bombed a house next to me because you suspected bad people were living in it.   Because bombing a house in a neighborhood means that that house was near other houses and old people and children and women who are just trying to live their lives live next to houses, in neighborhoods “suspectedly” filled with bad people. 

I have yet to hear of a bomb that blows up only what it hits…

WAKE UP

                        (Thoughts In This Moment:  My head falls back and I breathe...

For the first time in five pages.  ….)

Thank you Roger G. Smith for that brilliant performance

Thank you Huey P. Newton for your hard work and your madness

Thank you to all those who have put their lives on the line for the betterment of mankind…

            Especially my American people.

I pray for us.  I meditate for us.   I write for us.  I cry for us.  And, I bask in the joy of the

            Strength and resilience and fabulousness of our nation and,

            I beg you to…,

Confront your anger and your fear

And become honest about where it comes from.

As in any loving, intimate relationship… we may not always agree, but we can live in peace and love in our

Disagreement.

Let us stop the talk of killing and destroying.

And, let us find another way to live on this planet together.

I don’t want everyone to be like me.

It would make taking a vacation to foreign countries a drag.

In that way, I should have just taken a walk down the street.

Our differences are our strengths.

Our blessings.

Our brilliance.

Our spirits lifted and expanded from the differences we ingest,

            Marvel at,

            Are informed by,… which enlighten our present state of being.

I am you and you are me

I am my brother and sister’s keeper.

But, if we must, I will go through the darkness with you

And, now so inspired and infused, will use these keys to share my own enlightened reality,

And, jump into the ocean of darkness to manifest some light.